The ability to find friendship

The ability to find friendship
After I met Bryn Jones I discovered the meaning of true friendship. Through him I was introduced to my best friends in life. I wrote a book called "Friends of Covenant" where I described some of my insight and experience of covenant friendship and loyal love. Here I have enclosed some paragraphs in the beginning of that book. When you read it you will understand why Bryn Jones came to mean so much to me!

The ability to find friendship and develop it at various levels is often connected to a feeling of belonging, not being alone: having someone to relate to, someone willing to listen, someone understanding, someone not ashamed of us, but caring about us, then the steep hill is easier to climb and the burdens easier to carry.

But who has not experienced the bitter loneliness of a crisis of confidence and failure. It hurt to see friends turn their backs and leave when they were most urgently needed. It was unbearable to stumble around, brooding over thoughts and feelings, while friends kept away. Eyes cried for help, and found nothing but indifference. They looked right and left, but nobody was there to care. You had become an alien to your nearest friends.

Once friendless you were exposed to all kinds of rumour and slander without being able to defend yourself. Nobody humbled himself to give you life and strength. Nobody helped you to hold the shield against the burning arrows. Alone you clenched your fists in your pockets. Setting your teeth hard and keeping a stiff upper lip, you stood firm in sheer defiance. You let the steam-roller press you down and it turned you into a doormat.

No, perhaps it was not that way. You couldn't bear being trodden by all the filthy feet. You gave outlet to all the volcanic powers inside you and rebelled against the hypocrisy and wrong. You threw off all the bonds. Bragging you went away - alone.

I never forget it. It marked me for life. I had many friends. I had succeeded in many ways and I was fairly content with life. Then the rumours arose - apparently out of nothing - followed by public slander of being a liar, when defending myself. This was not unbearable, however. It grew worse when I came to realize that nobody wanted to believe me. The rumours were so absurd that I couldn't imagine that they could be believed. But now I found that even people that I reckoned among my best friends believed the religious rumours about one of my sayings, and distrusted me. That was a disappointment that stung deep into my soul - to find that I had been a na�ve fool l living in a castle in the air. Then hopelessness and rebellion arose within me, making all the wounds worse. Helpless, I groped for a way out of the mud - and found what I was looking for: He was a stranger, a foreigner, but cared enough to listen to me, and he believed me. The way he met me and helped me overcome a growing bitterness transformed my life and gave me a new direction. Despite the fact that he lives in another country and we don't see each other often, a friendship was formed that has been growing stronger ever since.

I experienced this, the failure, the disappointment, the broken hope, once, twice, many times. I had thought: Now I am secure, now I have friends. Over and over again I was wrong. It is not good to be rejected or to be sold on sale to the benefit of others. Failure and disappointment hurt. Happy memories took on a bitter taste of void and grief.

However, such is life. Friendship is disappointment. But the painful things can be the breeding ground for new, good, friendship. Friendship is to dare to forgive and forget wrong; to be able to start anew. It is to believe and hope while sowing and letting trust grow. Friendship is to get on your feet again after many collapses and to stumble ahead with both firm and weak steps. It is to swallow defeats such as they are, and with fresh courage and open eyes step into new relationships. You will learn from disappointment when you forget the painful things and do not let yourself be subdued.

Friendship arises from the ashes. It presses on and makes its way through black asphalt paving and stretches towards the warmth of faithful brothers. It blossoms in all seasons and finds no obstacle invincible. Friendship is a dream nobody can rob me of, and it is up to me to let that dream come true.